Sigh seems like
i've been posting
emo posts
I don't know
There's just something missing
i mean i just feel empty when
i'm alone
thats why
i've been out none stop
i
dont know
its just this is what i wanna do you know
to protect the one i love
but still i end up making myself miserable
Its like
being spun around in short-lived illusions
and when it all disappears
i feel like
i'm flat on my face on the ground
but than
i'll think about how it would feel if
i've just cut myself off
go cold turkey so to speak
and i don't think i can take it
neither can we bear it
or maybe its just me
i sometimes wonder if he'll be better off if he cuts me off completely
i
dont wanna be the cause of his pain, troube, sin or whatever
Or worst a burden
sometimes i get so afraid i dont even there drop him an sms
even though all i want is to know if he's ok
you know i just want him to be happy
even if
i'll be miserable
cause knowing that all is good with him
i'll be happy too
so i need to be miserable to be happy??
i'm so confused
am i being too dramatic?
sigh despite how i try to be strong
deep down it just hurts so much to lose him
why can't i just accept the happiness i have now
and take things as they come.
why do i have to just keep thinking about the future?
even more importantly
why do i keep thinking that
i'm going to lose him
when
i've already agreed the break up
Why i cant i just be stronger
damn ..i think i really miss you
i'm so stressI feel like i'm trapped in some crazy drama serialAnd we're right at the climax of the storyI'm just so busy with all the uni shitall the forms, appointments and deadlines to meetand yet theres so much i'm worried aboutMy sister my friends.i mean they're nothing too SERIOUS or anythingbut having them pile up upon me is just stressfulto say the leastBut of cause i wanna be there for them alwaysits just now i have some of my own shit to deal withi'm so confusedI don't know if i'm thinking too muchof getting myself to deeply involved Its just i can't give you what you wantwhat you expectTheres someone i must protect no matter whatAnd yet even though i made this choice i keep thinking of how great thing could getBut its not worth it i'm just so tired of thinking about itI need some restThank goodness for the simpler things in lifeMy friends CHARLENE my family jun wei and clubbingThat is so whats getting me throughAnd God.. Till i figure things out my Lord