I maybe having one of those quarter life crisis thing.
I am around the right age.
Nothing makes me happy.
I happen to be one of those girl who's life has always been pretty charmed.
I may not be one of those super rich with everything but I was given a lot.
I have a great family, we are above average in many ways.
I never had to worry about money, i always could get the material things I wanted.
We were always comfortable.
I had a good education.
Freedom most can only dream of.
Nice car to drive, loving siblings, unbelievably great parents.
I have great loyal friends.
Friend who never left despite how much of a cynical broken bitch I've become.
Oh I know, I really am a bitch now.
I have no idea what I am doing.
I sometimes contemplate quitting my job.
Nothing seem to make me happy or give me satisfaction.
I feel lonely yet I don't wanna try.
I miss you and yet I wish I could erase you memory from my head.
I hurts so bloody damn much and for so fucking long.
I wish to be childish and selfish and just hide somewhere until I get a sense of direction.
But I can't, so I keep floating around in this lovely tank I made for myself.
It's empty, but I am safe.
Safe as anything.
Keep allowing yourself to feel nothing.
Sure you won't be happy, but at least you won't be devastated either.