I think i asked myself once,
How am i going to live without you?
but i did, i do everyday it seems.
I think i feel best at work.
But i still miss you all the time.
I've been hoping for a day where i'll be able to think to myself.
"Cool, i didn't think of him today."
Hopefully that day will come soon.
I guess you don't have to see me.,
you don't have to miss me,
you don't have to care.
But please remember,
just please,
don't forget me.
There is no sense to be spoken,
to one who has lost all sense.
I feel like i am watching my life go up in flames around me.
And i just keep going anyway,
i'll work, eat, go out, smile and pretend.
But i am so tired.
How badly and how long can you miss someone?
I don't want to do this anymore.
There really is nothing worth living for.
I think i really don't want to live.
Call it madness, call it love.
In the end, everything is just context.
I really am a fucking huge mess.
I'm sorry for being such a disappointment
Will you wait for me to come home?
Tonight I reminisce when i unfolded the wrapper of the box of Tokyo bananas you bought me.
Yes I kept the dumb wrapper,
I'm stupidly sentimental like that.
It seems I am now apathetic even to me feeling sad.
If that were even possible.
Recently, a patient of mine hugged me and thanked me for taking care of her.
I felt nothing.
I was lied to by an old friend of 5 years.
A huge lie might I add.
And still I felt nothing.
Maybe apathy is good for me now.
Only with you do I feel a semblance of anything.
God I remember feeling so happy in Hong Kong.
You said we were going to be friends,
that we'll stay a part if each others lives.
We barely make the term acquaintance.
I believed you.
Again, I believed you.
And again, you lied.