hello all
so like WOAH i had a weak moment today
no idea why but oh well
went all teary mushy leaky
i'm sorry to say the least
i get really upset with myself for doing that
sorry for being such trouble
i really do try hard ot hold it all in
i really sorry
i really don't want to give you anymore trouble
Where have gone the 'dears' and 'i miss you'And i hold back all the time even if i do miss you like crazyi never dare sayI Miss You
Be still my heart
Won't you stop aching for just one day?
Nothing feels whole and real anymore
I wanna LIVE again
God what should i do?
It'll all be alright
It'll all be ok
thats what they always say
But have you ever wondered
what if OK is not enough?
What i wouldn't give
To have that same happiness and contentment
that brings me to tears
What if this is IT
and i'll never feel like this again
i miss you and want you so bad
just for now i'll allow myself to be selfish
i need you so badly love. i just do
i can't live, i can't breathe unless you do this with me
i just wanna cry in peace
its damn sad when i cant even do that
now i
dont have anyone to cry to
i'm so tired you know
having to keep holding it in
and than when i crack
i'll just feel fucking worst
cause now
i'm causing trouble to someone else
but sometimes its just so horrible to cry alone
i just want someone who can not mind when i cry by their side
just let me cry it out
i have no other outlet
and
i'm so scared
i'm just gonna go numb
and mother
fucking crazy and start doing stupid things
its sad and painful to cry all alone
but not being able to do that is just so much worst
its like something gnawing at me on the inside
eating me out until
theres nothing left
already i feel empty most of the time
like there's no place for me to go
you can say i chose this
even though it makes me
miserable i KNOW i chose this
and
i'm willing to bear with whatever pain tears and misery that comes with it
i am, i honestly am
so please why can't you just let me cry
it makes me feel better
and its really a small price to pay
for something i want so dearly
i just wish i
dont have to hide alone in the stairwell to cry anymore
because over there its just so
scary