A bad day.
Fist clenched, knuckles white.
So pale against the ebony darkness of hair.
Face hidden by that ebony curtain.
She chokes back tear-less sobs.
I think my ducts are all dried up.
Body rakes with shivers.
Knees so close to chest, as if that will offer another layer of protection.
It'll keep ringing, "When did i become such a mess?"
Lift your head and stare at the mirror.
No trace of crystalline clings to her lashes.
A reflection, the exact replica of reality.
But the monsters, they show in that mirror.
They creep in and engulfs everything.
Time swallowed everything.
Force a smile darling, there is no other way.
Selfishness comes with a heavy price to pay.
I think my heart is such a terrifying thing.
It wants what it fucking wants.
Not a thought spared for my well- being.
Isn't it frightful how much of its owner it'll sacrifice?
But it's perhaps no one's fault.
It was already beyond broken before we met.
I think it's nice to know though,
that you have someone out there.
Someone who will brave any hell,
to get to you, to make sure you are ok.
You are my penance, and perhaps the burden of being that is yours.
For wanting so much, I have a lot to sacrifice for it all.
Bit by bit I know I can do this.
Piece by piece I'll fix it all together to form the picture perfect life I desire.
Someday we will have it all.
Just have to keep in mind that being happy is of grave importance.
And letting go will always be the better way.
I fear how time can put the longest of distance between us.
So that's what I race against, what I fight against.
The relentless ebb and flow of time.
But with you, I know for sure that I can and will make it work.
I somehow believe that we were meant to exist in one another lives.
And I want to keep you.
Very selfish, I know, but there isn't anything else.
I just want you around.
Simple existence as a component of my life.
Friend, lover, acquaintance or somewhere in between.
Choose the part you wish to play.
Maybe I can have everything.
Maybe I can do it all after all.
Lost love can still be real love right?
It seems I have left myself little alternatives.
Mind over matter.
Faith in myself for once.
I can do this.
I will.