You know that feeling you get when you look at someone,
and in your mind you can just see it.
That the two of you have the infinite possibilities that came with forever,
like the rest of your life will barely be enough to spend loving this person.
Well, i think i am getting there.
I feel my heart race around you.
I smile that ridiculous silly smile that comes with love.
I feel that sadness when watching you leave,
and palpitations when hearing your voice.
All in all,
i know i am getting there.
Now where is this all mysterious "there"?
Its that point for me, where i will begin to feel like i can't do without you.
That point, when i'll go over and under anything to give my all to be with you.
Oh, but i am scared,
Hell, I am so damn bloody scared.
Issues with trust, inner turmoils and all that typical self- inflicted, self- indulgent drama.
I am so scared of you hurting me that i shamelessly harbor thoughts of breaking up.
I think about it all the time.
So terrified of baring it all, so petrified of being hurt by someone I love.
I am actually considering the coward's way out.
To run. leave, escape and quit.
Its like stand on one side of the fence staring at this plausible "happy ending"
Desiring it so bloody much.
And yet,
having to fear that it is all just a one sided fantasy.
Nothing more than a hopeless dream.
Someday my insecurities are just going to ruin everything.