My heart feels heavy and I can't sleep
I really need to, but I can't seem to fall asleep.
To much weighing me down perhaps?
I feel like I am holding on for the most selfish of reasons
And yet I don't really know what I should do about things
About how I feel.
Why?
Could it be I myself don't know for sure how I am feeling about this?
Or maybe it's just selfishness trying to disguise itself as confusion.
Right now I just feel lost.
Incoherent.
I am not sure what I want what I need or what to do.
I wish to be that girl again
That once upon a time knew what she wanted and was perfectly contented with all she had.
Pertaining to matters of the heart of cause.
Instead of this lost cynical sheep.
Afraid of being alone, afraid of giving her all.
I have no idea what I hope to accomplish typing all this in the wee hours of the night.
Just seems like pointless ramblings to me.
Leave me as confuse as I was before.
Oh gosh, someone give me and inkling of what I should do.
Sad, heavy- hearted and lost as hell.