I don't write much anymore.
But I still spend too much time thinking of you.
You are the shadow I cannot shake off.
And I miss you so, it's embarrassing really.
I tell myself ever so often, you can do this, you will let go.
Just let go.
But that gut wrenching feeling while trying to walk away.
It impedes me.
I stay.
Right where you left me.
Where you promised not to leave.
Where I believed you.
And where I watch your back recede into the distance.
Perhaps I will always love you.
And maybe that could be ok.
My heart could grow a little bigger, loving more than you.
And you will stay in that spot, shaped just for you.
Call me at 4 in the morning.
Look me up when no one would come.
Where you are in your darkest place, no one know about.
I'll come for you, always.
You are the very reminder of what loss means.
Life's lesson on pain.
And you will define for me what love is.
For I love you.
And lost you.
And now I still do.