Sometimes, ignorance is truly bliss.
Finding out something like that just leaves me more confuse than ever.
You can say it doesn't mean much,
But yet you'll be a conplete fool to pretend it means nothing.
The fact that it was more than one day,
With so many scroll throughs really says alot.
Sometimes I really hate being right,
I knew there was something more.
I'm not stupid.
I don't understand why is it so hard to just tell the truth.
Somethings, even if lets say she is something that has already come to past.
I deserve to know the truth.
What is so hard with being honest?
Why do people just like to hide things
and lie about shit.
I really don't get it.
Things like this, they make me feel inadequate and even mad.
But to be honest, hiding it just makes it a million times worst.
I really need time to sort this out.
Just this time please.
I honestly hope to be proven wrong.
Cheating never is just a physical act.
Sometimes it's the emotional cheating,
Those hurt the bloody most.
Shows that I'm good for a lay.
But not worth your heart, efforts and emotions.
And lets be honest here.
I am sure as hell worth alot more than that.
It's hard to find a balance.
I am trying really hard to give you space and time.
But deep down I yearn for greater intimacy.
Not expensive dates or grand romantic gestures.
But rather something simpler.
I miss the time we spend together.
We use to spend a lot more time together, just the two of us.
To be honest I couldn't care less where we were and what we are doing.
I would gladly roll in bed with you,
watch a movie in front of your computer together,
or even share a home cooked meal across the table.
To answer your question on Saturday night,
I literally just want to be with you.
I don't understand why you keep asking me to leave.
Do you really want me gone so badly?
Fighting to be with you is hard,
I am working on my insecurities, I made the choice to trust you.
It wasn't easy, but I'm trying because you are worth that.
I know things are hard for you too.
But aren't I worth it?
Am I not worth trying for?
Are WE not worth trying for?
Sure, your past haunts you.
We all have our own past.
But you won't feel like this forever,
you can get pass this.
And you don't have to do it alone.
Whether it's to give you space, or hold you close.
I'll be here.
Just try and imagine,
Honestly, we could be amazing.
But if staying with me makes life harder for you.
If I can't make you happy.
If you feel nothing for me but obligation.
Be honest.
And I will go.
I never want to be the cause of any pain or trouble to you.
If I ever become that.
You can tell me.
I will leave.
If not, I'm here, through thick through thin.
Through whatever bullshit that may come up.
I'll be here.
"This is the correlation between salvation and love.
I'll guard your heart, with quiet words I'll lead you in."
Its only been a week.
But I feel so far away from you.
I'm working so hard on myself.
Giving you space, giving us time.
Letting you go and do what you must.
While falling for the moments you return to me.
I'm ok, I have all I need to do this.
It just gets tiring sometimes.
I really miss you tonight, I feel lonely.
I want to see you, I want to be where you are.
I wanna hide in your arms and just for a while pretend no one else exist.
That the issues stacked against us didn't exist.
But I'm alright. I'm ok.
I really hope you won't give up.
Just think about it, if we make it.
It could be so amazing, this happiness.
I want it, I'll try for it, I'll fight for you.
I know it's hard to let go, that the past just breaks you time and time again.
I have been there.
But it won't be like this forever.
Pick yourself up, fight, time will take it away.
And I'll be here in the wings.
Have some faith in me, try believing.
I do.
I have the utmost faith in you.
Prove me right.
Sunday: you're at planet.
Do what you must.
Have fun, I want you happy.
I'm sorry if I was weird or made you feel bad in anyway.
It's isn't anything, I just simply miss you.
So it has been a dramatic week actually.
With the ultimatum on Sunday and Monday.
They say people do the stupidest things when they're in love.
I guess that's right in some sense.
But I think I'll like to look at it more positively.
It's kinda more like having the courage to leap into the unknown.
Not knowing what's at the end, whether the perfect hand to hold or rock bottom.
But hey, the only place after rock bottom is up right?
Like I said. Positivity.
So heres what on my mind right now.
Take the time you need, we'll take it slow.
I can wait.
If everything you said its true, than fight for me a little.
Trust me, I'll be worth it.
Sometimes there really is no point thinking so long down the road.
There really is no way to tell what could happen.
Life and people are too unpredictable for that.
I think it boils down to having a little faith.
You don't want me to expect too much, I won't.
I've learnt my lesson for real. This time we'll take it easy.
But I believe in you, if you could see you from where I am standing.
You are more amazing than you let yourself believe.
There is a side to you that really is the best, and I've been fortunately enough to catch the rare glimpses of it.
And there is faith in myself too.
Honestly, not to tip my own hat but I pretty much believe that I've made you a better person.
I think I'm pretty great, I could give you that faith you seem to have lost.
Sure we all meet bad apples along the way.
I may be naughty but I'm one of the good ones.
Just wait, time will tell.
For now, just let it flow.
Stay with me, I can make it better.
Don't give up just yet.
Just try, you don't have to be alone.
Try.
Why won't it stop?
Why do the girls just keep coming?
How am I suppose to trust you when you keep doing such hurtful things behind my back?
You really think I don't see the signs and patterns?
I'm not stupid and I'm more observant than you realize.
Please god, I beg you don't toy with me.
I can't, I really cannot take it.
Once in a life time is enough.
Pleae stop treating me like I am so replaceable.
It makes me feel so worthless.