In the words of J.I.Packer
"In our quest for God's guidance,
we become our worst enemies."
Have to keep struggling and fighting
Light of my darkness
Hope
Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely life time
If you want me to I will
Is it going to happen again?You're going to leave me again aren't you?
I'm sorry i cried
I'm sorry for being so weak
please don't leave
i am sorry
i just didn't want us to fall deeper into sin
Can you please not be cruel
am i really only worth caring about when physical things are involved
Do you only treat me lovingly during such moments
do you know how that feels
am i really so worthless to you
I won't ask you for anything
I don't want anything, and I'll give you everything
so please don't treat me like i don't exist in your life
I want to believe you care about me
please show me?
because i really feel so so completely broken, so invisible
so insignificantly worthless
I really don't know what to do God
I am so so lost, what is thy will for me?
I can barely make it, just struggling not to break your written word
When God taught us to love
He didn't mean that it would be free from pain and suffering
But love teaches us how to deal with all that hurt and injury you may feel
It teaches us never to attend to our selfish desires but instead seek the best of others
It matters not if no body believes me
Even if the person i love doubts me
because what matters most is whether i can answer to God
that i have done everything to follow His commandments
To love as He said, no matter how many times i fall
no matter how much it hurts
And when you really think about it
why put yourself through this torture?
Why go through all this hardship and love in such a way?
And you come to this beautiful revelation that its is because you love God
that you want to do this to please Him
that you even CAN do this
Happy 14th love..
I pray for every happiness for you always
I Love you
i drove pass lavender mrt todayand saw a tour bus parked there
for some strange reason,
it reminded me of the day we took a bus together to Penang for the cruise
I remember vividly that half way through the bus ride i fell asleep
holding on to you (:
but than when i woke up,
i was alone, the bus had stopped somewhere
and in my half asleep stupor
i groggily stumbled off the bus
and trip and fell by the way(so clumsy, i know)
trying to find you in the place where the bus had stopped at
i really felt like a young child,
wandering around, looking for their loved one
I wasn't really thinking very coherently and for some weird reason
i was feeling a little scared
when i found you
i remember running into your arms like a lost little kid
and really hugging you tight, feeling safe at once
than when i looked up into your eyes
You were giving me such a funny expression
sort of like a mixed between "what am i to do with you"
but in a "you're so cute" kinda way
you asked me whats wrong and hugged me tighter
I couldn't even answer and just buried my head into your chest
you than gave me a kiss on my forehead
and held me as we walk around the place
Its such a bittersweet memory now
and it really got me thinking
how much we went through to stay together
how i tripped and fall so many times
but got right back up
because i will not give up on the love i had for you
sometimes i really wonder
why couldn't we try a little harder
is it foolish?
how i pray for the chance
to take our relationship forward in a Godly manner
to honor Him through love for one another
is it all too late?
But i still stand by what i say
i will always love you, and i still remember that promise
that no matter what happens
I'll always be there, waiting for you
whenever you need me
to protect, trust and love you
Sorry boy,
forgive me for saying this
but.. i miss you (always)
and i wished you missed me too
I miss youWill this heart ache ever stop?
I want to wake up to you in the mornings
i just got back from church camp
and it has truly been such an enriching experience
And i have learnt much
The focus of the camp was on one of my favorite passage
1 Corinthians 13
many would think that this passage has been used once too often
but the speaker blessed by God's wisdom has expounded on it at a whole different level
He taught me so much of love
and exposed so much of my inadequacies
and yet he has shown my strengths
and taught me to never give up
Through this God has answered so many of my doubts
and shown me so much and how i should go from here
To have love and its attributes expounded in such a detailed manner
had really help me realize how to go on from here
So many questions i had for myself have been answered
i know now to question my intentions and motives every single time
to keep reviewing myself,
for the sinful nature is so apparent in me
and i do not doubt that my love for you is true
Now, i know I really do love you in all sincerity
But it seems the inner battle will never cease
Moment i want to scream for you not to go
Where i wish i could have you back in my arms
but in my heart knowing that it is not for me to say
I am happy to say that i fight hard against many of this circumstances
I know that His plans for me are unknown
but that i have to have faith in His wisdom and perfect love
that he will let his plans unfold for me
that i should never stop trying
never stop striving and struggling to love as He does, to love as he dictate
to remember that we love because Christ has first loved us
And that to chase after love
to always pursue love
because without love every other thing we do
despite all blessing and wisdom will be nothing
will mean nothing
unless it stems from love
