Just went for a run, waaaaaaaaayy overdue
It really clears my head
I've been kinda stuck in a rut of sorts
And to be honest, I've been in a particularly depressed mood recently
Been feeling sad, missing you, thinking about the past
But i guess thats ok
For me it works when i just let it all flood in
Feel that pain and hurt you left me with
experience it to the fullest
In some sadistic way, it reminds me that i am alive
And that is a blessing i never want to take for granted
Than there are time i keep asking the "whys" and the "what ifs"
What if i said yes back than?
what if i had left you earlier?
what if i had said no on the faithful night?
why didn't i hold on longer?
But i guess thats ok as long as i don't let it overwhelm me
Don't let it hold me back
Because in the end
I realize all this questions, no matter how many times i ask them
they don't matter
Because fact of the matter is
they didn't happen
and nothing will change that
And blessed as i am
I can trust that they happen for a reason
All part of the grand scheme of things
Of the life He planned for me
So for now, i guess i am ok
I am alright, just have to move forward again
step by step
Bit by bit
I really look forward to the day where we can be friends again
Not sure if you feel the same
But truth be told
For me, i do miss you as a friend
