I don't know what I am doing
I am more confuse than ever
My heart is all over the place
and my mind just speeds at a hundred miles an hour

I feel like there is so much growing up left to do
and i can't do it here
I feel so protected and so comfortable
Slipping into what is routine is too easy
I can't wait to leave for a bit
I think i'll be sad.
I love my family and my life here

But something is just missing
I feel like i need to find out more about myself
Have some kind of coming of age journey unique to me
Fall in love, go crazy
Break a few hearts, have mine broken
Miss the important people.
Listen to new and old music, day dream a little
Let the top down, have a road trip.
Laugh, smile, cry and get mad.
Make some mistakes, learn something new.

I need to just go away and get away for a bit.
I don't really know who i am yet or what i want or need
But i cannot wait to find out.

Or maybe this is all just an excuse to run away.

Do you ever wonder?
what is the reason you love him?
Is it because you truly have fallen for who he is,
or did you fall in love because you were lonely.
And he was there.

Sometimes I wonder why I am still here
When the thought of letting go keeps resurfacing.
But I think I felt it recently.
That feeling, like I cannot do without you.
An ache that hurt enough to make me cry.

But is it honestly worth waiting for,
when the option of letting go keeps crossing my mind.
I think perhaps I'm just scared.
Terrified.