I am on the verge, at the edge, tipping point.
Whatever you want to call it.
I don't know if I am greedy or selfish but I cannot change the fact that i feel this way.
I want more.
I feel like my relationship is unraveling at the seams and there is nothing I can do about it.
On the surface things seem fine, but I am sad and disappointed more often than not.
It a self indulgent post today.
I want to feel special and more important.
I'm tired of feeling so unneeded.
For someone who loves to plan, why don't I see you planning and setting time aside for me.
Or planning dates with me?
I see everyone so happy in their relationships and I am just seething with envy.
I am so Jealous of all my happy couple-ly friends who keep emphasizing the time they spend together.
I want that too, like they just cannot do without each other.
I want you to miss me more.
It hurts so much to feel like you hardly missed me even though we barely saw one another for the pass week.
When did it become like this?
Because I honestly remember a time when I felt like your everything.
But It seems so distant all of a sudden.
And I ask myself all the time, if I am so unhappy, why can't I let it go?
I just wish to feel special to you.
There's so much I want to do.
Go to the zoo, club, have breakfast, eat claypot laksa, have a nice dinner, go shopping, go dancing, or just watch tv.
I don't know, to sum up I just want to be a bigger part of your life.
More than what is now.
I wish i had said something.
Is it so wrong to want to spend just a little more time with you?
I just watched step up 3 last night.
and something one of the girls sad really hit home.
On the one hand i really miss you.
But honestly it hurts like hell,
to feel like you didn't miss me back at all.
sigh, why is it always so easy for people to do without me.
BAAHHHHHHH! I wish you wanted me more.
The difficult choice between what is right,
and what is easy.
Why is it that i feel guilty so easily.
Decisions, decisions.
Courage Tiffany, courage.
God help me.
Last night I sat on my bed and wonder.
If I was sick, not like terminally sick or deathly ill.
Just sick enough to have to stay home,
will he stay by my side to just keep me company?
The random trivial wanderings/wonderings of the mind.
(see what I did there ?? Lol)
I remember someone did.
I need something amazing to happen.
Some huge romantic gesture,
straight out of the movie screens.
Time to learn from yesterday.
Live today and hope for tomorrow.
Yes, i know i'm a lame, sappy romantic.
BITE ME.
Stay Happy.
Smiling but oh so close to crying.
The pretense you have to play for others,
when all you want to do is crawl in bed alone,
and let all the pain and sadness consume you.
Broken.
