Lies and deception.
Playing pretense.
It may seem silly but at least there was something i could be happy about.
And now it feels like you are a whole world away.
After all what is reality but what we perceived it to be.
I had to pretend.
But i had you, i had an escape.
And that was real to me.
Does it seem desperate?
But perhaps that's what it is.
You're that escape I desperately needed away from my life.
A life that has panned out so well, so planned.
So together so "perfect".
I'm on the right track, always doing the the "right" thing.
Taking the high road, being the good girl, the nice one.
No one ever pauses to see how tiring it all is.
Doing the right thing hurts ok.
Its exhausting and it drains me empty everyday.
Why i can't i get a turn at being selfish.
To keep you however way i can.
We are two individual, uninhibited.
Fuck the fairness, the balance, the so called injustice.
For once just let me have my selfish desire.
I want it, damaged, broken and deceptive.
I want you.