Transient.
That can be said of many things in life it seems.
New things keep coming and the old keep going.
It seems like as much as we try to make ourselves feel important.
To make something have so much meaning.
Time robs us of it, it slowly erodes it, much like the waves with writings on sand.
Humans, we keep striving to live meaningfully, to be remembered.
But for what really?
Time sweeps by and steals it all away no matter what.
In 10 years, in 50, in a 100 in a 1000 years?
In the end everything fades into nothing, doesn't it?
All things significant, become insignificant.
What am i striving for?

I'm not sure where this random thoughts popped up from,
but perhaps i've seen too many people treating others like they are insignificant.
Or perhaps i've witness too many endings lately.
But i am starting to lose grip on my own realities.
I feel numb and empty about everything.
It is vaguely familiar, this place i am now at.
I somehow remember it.
Like a not too distant dream you just woke up from.
Hazy, yet there, but somehow you can't seem to grasp its full picture.
I'm living, but i don't feel there.
Its like watching my own life play by play from the stands.
In an apathetic, distant manner,
piqued with mild curiosity and yet filled with vague nonchalance.
Going through the motions day by day.
Accepting sadness, happiness, anger, annoyance whatever emotions.
But yet i don't seem to really feel it.
Like i am in this constant drunken stupor.
Numbing to the senses.

Is this some kind of protective mechanism?
Am i trying to save myself?
I don't feel myself doing this consciously.
I don't feel much of anything really.
I cry, i smile, i yell, i laugh.
But it all seems halfway there.
Am i missing something?

I miss the day when things were simpler.
I'm not sure where or what i am trying to get at with this.
This could all possibly just be random ramblings of a tired mind.
Its not exactly cohesive or coherent.
Perhaps one day i'll peruse this and it will all make sense.
But for now nothing does.
So i guess maybe I'll just keep going.
And by some stroke of sheer luck, or predestined fate.
Everything will be illuminated.

Eat, sleep, work, dance and study.
That should be easy, like clockwork.