I sought the me that was independent of you.
With each day, i force myself through the drudgery that has now become my life.
Not that my life is boring or isn't great.
In fact, i am an ungrateful bitch blessed with so much.
And yet happiness just eludes my grasp.
I can't sleep, I can't enjoy or have fun.
And its not for a lack of trying.
I am trying really hard.
I feel so tired all the time and yet insomnia refuse to let me go.
Sleep it seems is also being elusive.
I feel my own body collapsing.
I wonder how much longer this will last.

A terrifying thought always echos though.
What if this isn't transient.
And it just keep going.
Going and going that i eventually just accept it as a norm.
Until it just fits itself into routine.
I'll just get use to it.

I feel as empty as the endless vacuums in space.
I have nothing to offer.
I'll give so much to feel pain outside of this.
Never has falling into an endless sleep sounded so tempting.

How am i suppose to save myself from this?