Another dream, another nightmare.
It's astounding how many scenarios the mind can paint over one subject.
But every night as I lay my head down and let sleep takeover.
I sought the place where what I miss the most will materialize.
Be it good or bad.
I can't help but wake up feeling a little sad.
Last night i had one of the best dreams yet.
So familiar, perhaps it was a memory.
We were talking, smiling and laughing.
We sat simply side by side.
A light kiss on the lips.
You held my hand as you had once did.
It was the closest to perfection.

I miss you.

So to describe what you've come to mean to me.
I think I've stumbled upon the best one.
To me you're like the sun to my little world.
With you everything was warm and bright.
Everything shined and thrived.
You brought me the most incandescent of smiles.
But you left, and a dark grey settled in.
The colors they faded to a dull.
I lived on, after all, we as man could live without the sun to some extent.
But it was a damaged type of life.
The love of others sustain me.
Their encouragement serves to support me.
But there is still this hole, in the shape of your lovely silhouette.
And no one person or thing could fill it.
No matter how hard I tried to pretend it is all ok.
I know it isn't.
I see the weariness in their eyes.
The ugly red burns on their hands.
There is after all only so long you can pull a sinking ship.
Before the rope burns forces you to let go.

So I keep sinking in my own self- indulgent depression.
And every thought and memory of you crashed upon me like the waves in a storm.
And I feel like I'm drowning.
With the whole world upside down.
Topsy turvy.
Disoriented, I try so hard to fight my way up the the surface.
But the waves keep coming.
You're inescapable.

To be the exception.
That was your last request.
Had you known all along you would be the one?
The only one who made my heart beat slower and faster.
The only one who made me wish my heart would stop beating the moment you left.
The only one who let me touched the stars and lie on the clouds.
The only one who brought me down harder and faster than a crashing meteor.
You had me so high, it is no wonder the fall was so traumatic.
And now I am as jaded as they come.
A walking tragedy, straight out of a cliche story.
To me you were worth millions, but you've left me so broke.
So broken.

I yearn to feel once again that simple happiness and content so complete.
It had come with burying my face in the crook of your neck.
Your arms around me.
As I watch the rise and fall of your chest, and heard the beats of your heart.
I thought to myself.
This is my forever.
So universe, I plead, beg and grovel at you.
You know my hearts desperate wants.
Won't you start the hands of fate and begin all the conspiring.

For all the heart felt words and well- spun paragraphs.
They all circle back to one thing.
My own greatest, most selfish desire.

You,
I just want to be with you.