Do what makes you happy?
Easier said than done.
I don't even know what that is.
I mean I've felt spurts of happiness on and off.
But I haven't felt that genuine, full blown, really contented, totally at peace with the world type of happiness in a long time.
Around 8 months maybe.
Now, how did I become such a whirling hot mess?
Can i leave it all at the hands of someone else?
Choose for me.
Give me everything you said and be there.
Or just take everything away and leave me with the pieces.
No more pretty well spun lies to keep me happy.
Because all I ever do is believe you over and over again.
I just keep believing in you.

There are some memories in life that are just too precious.
You fight tooth and nail, clench your fist so tight your nails draw blood.
You'll scrape knees and go through hell and back.
Just to keep it.
Just to rememberer, to never forget.
To never be forgotten.
I don't intent to hurt anyone.
I just don't want to be left behind.
I want to exist as a part of that world.
Even if its a small part.
Reputation, pride, happiness, relations.
I'll pay any price.
Please, just please, don't make this another lie.
Action, do something.