I find myself wondering if there is something wrong with me.
Why can't i seem to find my someone?
Why does love seem to slip my grasp over and over?
Am i that unattractive?
What is wrong with me?

Such mundane, silly frivolous thoughts.
But it's not just about getting into a relationship.
Its also friendship, feels like i have so few that i can count on.
I always feel so lonely.
I always feel lost at who i can turn to.
Its been kinda awful.
Am i that much of a turn off.
Its possible.
I've changed in many ways i myself cannot stand.

I feel so trapped.
Its like i want so much to be happy in all that various ways.
But i am held back by how afraid i am of people and the inevitable disappointments.

Its an arduously tedious journey, living life like this.
So desperate and depress,
so empty and exhausted all the time.